You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
