ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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