hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish you could order shots online.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
