Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
