I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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