didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
