the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
