omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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