Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
