so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
