I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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