Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
