Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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