this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
