I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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