LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
