My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
