my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
