dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize