Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
