so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
