someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
