you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
