You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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