Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
