C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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