I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
