Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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