Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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