Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
