she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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