I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
