I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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