when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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