she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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