Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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