Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
