You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
