Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
