OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
