nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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