wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize