I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize