i barfeds in our rink
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
