You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize