But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize