Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
