dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
