doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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