Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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