Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
