I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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