i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
