i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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