Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
