Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
