Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
